An Unplanned Story of Redemption and Restoration: Chad And Stephanie's Story

For Chad and Stephanie Bogie, their lowest point was the beginning of a soul-wrenching journey that would transform their understanding of sin, grace, and God's relentless love.

When Stephanie discovered she was pregnant, their hidden relationship was thrust into the light. Facing church leadership, devastated parents, and a shattered reputation, they encountered both the painful consequences of their choices and the extraordinary mercy of a community committed to biblical restoration. Their raw account takes us through months of complete separation, intense spiritual renewal, and a process that prioritized heart transformation over quick solutions.

The most powerful aspect of their testimony isn't just what happened, but how it happened. As Chad wrestled with whether God would ever allow them to be together, and Stephanie faced the reality of single motherhood, both discovered spiritual truths that forever changed their relationship with Christ.

When their son Tyler was born, a new chapter began—one of careful reconnection, a God-honoring courtship, and eventually, a wedding that became a church-wide celebration of redemption. Now, many years later, they lead marriage ministries at the same church where their story began, living proof that God can transform our greatest failures into platforms for ministry.

Whether you're currently walking through the consequences of your choices or seeking wisdom on how to respond to moral failures in your community, this testimony offers both hope and practical insight into what genuine restoration looks like. Share this episode with someone who needs to be reminded that no mistake places them beyond the reach of God's redeeming grace.

Chapters

• 0:00 Introduction to Chad and Stephanie
• 7:35 Early Church Days and Backgrounds
• 23:45 The Relationship Begins Secretly
• 38:30 Confronting Sin and Its Consequences
• 58:10 Separation and Spiritual Restoration
• 1:17:40 The Birth of Tyler and New Beginnings
• 1:40:15 Courtship, Marriage, and Full Restoration
• 1:58:30 Lessons Learned and Final Reflections

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:02

You're tuned in to Friends and Family, a God's Way Radio exclusive where we introduce you to some amazing people. In John, chapter 15, verse 15, jesus says I have called you friends for all things that I heard from my Father I have made known to you. That's our aim that God would be made known to you. Stay with us until the end of our conversation for more information on this program and other unique offerings from God's Way Radio.

Speaker 2: 0:28

God's Way Radio family. I have the joy and privilege of being here with some dear friends. Today we're going to get to chat with Chad and Stephanie Bogie. Good afternoon.

Speaker 4: 0:39

Good afternoon, joey, it's great to be here Good afternoon.

Speaker 2: 0:41

Joey, it's so good to have you guys. We've been praying and talking and getting ready and you know we're here just to hear your story. All that God has done in your life and I mean he's not even close to done yet To get started. Why don't we start here, guys? What are you currently doing in a sense of serving at the church? What does God have you guys doing when you're serving?

Speaker 4: 1:08

Shout out to to calvary chapel, miami, but please share with us what god has you doing right now? Share a little bit about your family, shout out to the family. Well, um, my name is stephanie. I've been covering coming to calvary miami since the 90s, and so I've been at calvary miami for over 25 years, and right now I'm currently serving in the worship ministry, and I also co-serve with my, my husband, as overseers of the marriage retreat ministry.

Speaker 3: 1:30

Awesome. Chad. I came in 2005. And currently I am part of a couple different teaching ministries of marriage classes and a foundations of faith class, and then, as my lovely wife said, we oversee marriage ministries specifically working on the marriage retreat, and so those are kind of the three main ministries I'm a part of. Awesome.

Speaker 2: 1:55

And if you listen with a close ear you're gonna see how sweet it is where they're serving and what God is doing. But thank you so much, steph. You said you got here in the 90s. What do you remember from your first days, first years at Calvary Chapel? Where was your family at siblings? Tell us about getting to Calvary in those first days.

Speaker 4: 2:16

Well, it was at first just my mom and me and my sister coming to church. My dad wasn't coming, he wasn't a believer at that time and I just remember going into kids ministry I didn't really want to go, I was like a quiet girl and I was shy and it was hard to open up to people, with just the nature of my personality. But it was just such a sweet small community, the church back in the day when it was on the 67th Avenue property and just meeting the other church members there under Pastor Raz, and it was just a sweet church that my mom was first invited from a friend from her work and then, long story short, my dad finally started coming to church.

Speaker 2: 3:10

Do you remember how long it was before he started coming?

Speaker 4: 3:12

I don't remember.

Speaker 2: 3:13

Because you were little.

Speaker 4: 3:15

I was very little, probably age six or seven. I remember all of a sudden not having to celebrate Halloween anymore. That's awesome. Yeah, that's awesome yeah.

Speaker 2: 3:25

That's awesome. Are you glad your mom brought you in your sister's church?

Speaker 3: 3:30

and made you come.

Speaker 2: 3:31

Yes, awesome. Just a shout out to parents out there Keep doing it, it's good. It's good. They're going to thank you later. Chad, when did you first come to Calvary Chapel, miami?

Speaker 3: 3:46

Well, my older brother. I have three older brothers, but one of them, whose name is Todd, he moved down to Miami and it's kind of funny, he lived in Boston and I never visited him. And then he moved to Miami and suddenly I'm visiting him on spring break and summer break, I guess, just loving the beach, and then so he was attending here, and then that's when I started visiting Calvary Chapel, miami for the first time, and even then I just remember how welcoming they were. I remember some of my first encounters with different people, some of them that still go here, and the last spring break that I visited. As I left, I remember and like I want to move down here, would love to, to, to be here full-time, yeah, and so just good memories. You know those were the early 2000s and then I moved from Nashville, tennessee, down here in 2005 so let's wind the clock back a little bit chat, if you don't mind.

Speaker 2: 4:36

Just your family upbringing background. Me Stephanie kind of took it for granted. Your parents weren't believers, then your mom became a believer and then your dad became a believer. That's the super short summary and anything you wanted to add to that. Was there any kind of god church in your background? Different religion um.

Speaker 4: 4:52

I vaguely remember visiting um maybe another catholic church or baptist church um, but not really not too much gotcha.

Speaker 2: 5:03

So chad kind of going back to your upbringing, your family, your, your childhood. Was it a Christian family? What area of the country did you grow up in?

Speaker 3: 5:10

I grew up in the small mountain town of Bend, oregon, and I'm the youngest of four, so I have three older brothers, and we grew up in the church.

Speaker 3: 5:20

My parents were both Christians and I remember at a very young age my mom was leading my next oldest brother which I said already his name is Todd to the Lord. She was leading him in the sinner's prayer and I probably maybe was three or four, and I remember saying I want to pray that also, and so at that young age I accepted the Lord into my life and you know, as we get into our testimonies a little bit, it's definitely going to show on my end that I did not honor that commitment to the Lord, but on the Lord's end, he has never left me nor forsaken me, and um and I've seen that time and time again, um, throughout my life. And so at that young age and bend, though I may not have fully known the commitment I was making, the Lord has always honored that commitment, when every time I've cried out to him, even though in my own failures, he has always responded.

Speaker 2: 6:18

You know so amazing. You know how you worded that right. A lot of people like to argue theology and go back and forth with Bible verses but just to realize, looking back, that yeah, I made a commitment to the Lord, I prayed and I know God hears prayer and he heard my prayer. Just awesome. Thank you so much for sharing that. You know, if you just tuned in, this is God's Way Radio, our interview series.

Speaker 2: 6:45

It's so strange, it's just our friends. You know friends and family. We're sitting down with friends here and some of them are closer friends than others. This is my dear family. I remember going to their wedding, not knowing them very well, beautiful wedding. I thought, oh man, I'm so glad I was invited. You know, I felt so special being invited and just an amazing thing what God has done. And all that to say. Again, if you just tuned in, you want to stay tuned. We're talking with Chad and Stephanie and if you ever have any questions, you want to follow up, you can call us, reach out to us at the studio and we'll try to get you that information or connect you as best we can. 786-313-315.

Speaker 2: 7:26

So kind of jumping forward a little bit here. You guys are in Calvary Chapel, miami. And Steph, you're growing up, you're in the youth group serving, and Chad, you end up serving in the church. Take us to those youth group days and, I don't know, maybe there's a funny story, a fun throwback, I don't know. Just catch us up right. We're jumping forward in time here to Stephanie. You're in youth group. Who's the pastor this time? The youth pastor.

Speaker 4: 7:53

I probably. In the beginning I was under Pastor Carl.

Speaker 2: 7:56

Cool.

Speaker 4: 7:57

And then Pastor Adrian.

Speaker 2: 7:59

Awesome, awesome. And Chad, did you serve with both of those guys or one of those guys?

Speaker 3: 8:04

I served only with Pastor Adrian. So I started serving in youth group. I think it was in 2006. And one of the kind of initial things to get my feet wet was the 2006 camp. I was a counselor at the camp that year and I know Pastor Zach it was his senior year in high school and so there's a number of memories there that stand out to me I like that.

Speaker 2: 8:27

You're not sharing any of that. So, stephanie, maybe you tell us about you know what the lord did in your life as a youth and youth group. Again, there's, there's just an incredible testimony that we're gonna get to. You know, um, but what was the lord doing in your life leading up to that point? And maybe you already start to get to you know, but what was the Lord doing in your life leading up to that point? And maybe you already start to get into the testimony. You know the Lord's trying to work in your life. Maybe you're resisting the Lord, maybe not. What is the Lord doing in your life as a youth? Right, thinking of youth, listening, right. What is God doing in your life as a teenager? How's he speaking to you? How's he trying to reach you?

Speaker 4: 9:03

well, I was attending youth every single friday since sixth grade, um, and I would have amazing mountaintop experiences going to youth camp, um, meeting other friends my age and knowing these families and but my parents trust their families and that we're all in on the same page and it's just like such a different life versus what I used to be a part of, which was like a very competitive dance world.

Speaker 4: 9:33

So we kind of said goodbye to that dance world and then, um, we started getting more involved in church and, um, honestly, I, just I on the outside it seemed like I was just an awesome, obedient child, listening to my parents and submitting to them and going to youth group, going to youth camp, gladly, in which they were all awesome, amazing times. I've made such great friends, long, long friendships along the way, but I'm again like those mountaintop experiences, which were beautiful times. I've probably offered my heart to the Lord so many different times, but there wasn't much like long lasting fruit. And I'm also, in high school, super involved. In high school school I was part of the dance team. I was really involved, I was homecoming queen, I had a lot of friends, and so it was just always I thought you were the shy girl.

Speaker 4: 10:38

I was as a child but then in my high school days, I guess I just I don't know, I guess I was just a little bit more social and um, so just to have that pull with my worldly school friends and then the pull with my church friends, um, the pull was always stronger with my high school um friends. Um, so I was, as you say, I guess, a lukewarm teenager and um, just never really fully committing to the lord yeah, yeah, well, I'm thinking there's there's so much we can talk about there.

Speaker 2: 11:20

You know, um, that experience, you know we pray that that wouldn't be. You know our teenagers right, that they would just be plugged into the lord and and maybe we'll come back to it. Maybe we'll come back to it. But thank you for sharing. You know where you were at and and, uh, again, just getting insight into your guys lives, getting to know you, uh, because, well, I'm not gonna say it, because then you'll get nervous about who could be listening, all the wonderful family of God's Radio and the reach of the ministry. But, chad, before we think about that too much, you know, would you say that kind of give us some insight into growing up. You know, did you just run full for the Lord? Did you have a season of? Did you have a season of prodigal? Was it more lukewarm? Tell us growing up you know that maybe kid stage, teenage stage how the Lord was reaching out to you and how you were responding to the Lord.

Speaker 3: 12:15

Yes. So you know I grew up in the church and I went to different denominations, you know, back in Oregon. But I think a lot of my relationship with the Lord is, you know, and I don't want to, you know, blame anything on lack of understanding when we kind of get to a little more of Steffi and I's testimony, you know, I want to be very clear that my sin was my sin. It's all my responsibility.

Speaker 3: 12:42

But looking back, growing up, I think, like a lot of Christians, some of my faith is work-based. As I'm going to church and I read my Bible, I'm doing good, and then I'm not reading my Bible. Things are terrible and God rewards me based on what I'm doing for Him. And so, looking back, my middle school and high school years are just kind of up and down. You know, there there's a few moments of you know going harder for the Lord and you know, as you, as you, draw close to the Lord, he always draws near to you and I even have a few um God stories. But then there's a lot of not drawing near to the Lord and you know watching things or participating in things you know I knew was wrong. And so you know very up and down, and you know that went into college and even in some of my adult years, where there's just seasons of you know drawing very close and then there's seasons of kind of you know distancing, which will always have its consequences.

Speaker 2: 13:45

You know, chad, I want to ask you something and you mentioned this earlier and you'll know what I'm talking about, but I think this is the right time to address it, to look at it, because we even spoke recently how kids at a younger and younger age are getting exposed to sexual immorality, basically and we're going to get into the testimony that the Lord did with you guys and so what I want to ask you is do you remember when was the earliest time that you were exposed to sexual immorality, kind of like what it was? Obviously, you know, whatever you're willing to share, whatever's suitable for the listeners, but guys, I mean, are willing to share whatever's suitable for the listeners, but guys, I mean, this is real, you know, and we want to protect our kids, we want to make people aware that these decisions these issues have long lasting effects.

Speaker 3: 14:43

So do you remember when that happened to you? For you, yes, there's a couple instances that are very clear and I remember once being at a friend's house and seeing some really nudity in movies. I remember a couple times. So this would be that might have been in the fifth grade. I know in the sixth grade even lying to my mom like I'm going to a friend's house to my mom, you know, like, oh, I'm going to a friend's house. You know we're watching some movies but you know they're rated PG when they were. You know again, movies that had, you know, a lot of nudity.

Speaker 3: 15:12

I also remember in middle school someone bringing you know a pornographic magazine and looking through that, and at the time I know that I knew that was wrong and I'm sure I asked God for forgiveness. But those things, when they happen, if they're not thoroughly dealt with, come back. So then you have these stages of you know I'll never want to do that again. And then you know whatever, a year or two later falling into something else or something different or some other inappropriate sexual type of sexual immorality. So I know those things continued.

Speaker 3: 15:53

I don't know if haunt is the word for years to come and obviously, to this day, every Christian needs to be aware of the flesh and you know keeping you, be aware of the flesh and you know keeping, you know crucifying the flesh, and maybe we can get into that. But I think those things that I dealt with fairly young, as you mentioned it. There's kids now that are doing a lot more at a lot younger age, but that needs to be dealt with more than just you know. God, forgive me, I never want to do it again.

Speaker 2: 16:24

Yeah, yeah, be dealt with more than just you know, god, forgive me, I never want to do it again. Yeah, yeah, thank you so much again because I think we can be um, blind to it or we could be naive to it. Uh, that man, this can happen and it it will affect our kids and and just the need, like you said, to address it. So thank you so much for sharing that, for being open with that. So you know, here's where we get into the testimony part, the start of the testimonial. If you will and I know your guys' heart, you know and even if you want to comment on this before we even get into the story, I know your guys' heart is just a point to the Lord. You know there's that kind of I think people kind of go back and forth. Either they don't want to ever talk about their past or you know people share their testimony. It's like an hour of how bad they were and then I got saved. Then they walk off the stage and go wait, this is a little unbalanced here. So I know your guys' heart is to just look at the work that God has done. You know the depth to which we can fall, the height that God could raise us up upon the rock of Jesus Christ. So I know that's your heart, so we know that's your heart. So you're serving in youth group.

Speaker 2: 17:32

Chad, steph, you're a youth, you graduate from youth group, you're 18, 19. And there's a liking right, there's an attraction. What went on there?

Speaker 3: 17:44

Well, to back up a little bit. It adds maybe to the drama or treachery on my part later on, but the Lee family were some of the George Lee and if you know George Lee you only have good things to say about him. But he's one of the first guys that reaches out to me at church period Wow, and I know in, you know, I believe 2005, I'm already friends with George and Barbara. And then my very first Thanksgiving in Miami you know, younger and single, they invite me over to Thanksgiving and it's interesting because I was just kind of reflecting on this the other day I've never missed a Lee Thanksgiving since then, even in spite of what's going to transpire.

Speaker 3: 18:30

And so I had a relationship with the parents before Steffi, and then Steffi's wonderful older sister, jadine, was friends of mine. He's going to become the best brother-in-law in the world George Rodriguez, friends of mine. I participated in their wedding and then that summer, so at some point I get to know Steffi and she's great and you know we joke around a lot. I go on vacation the summer before she enters into singles ministry to Aruba and I'm sure they invited me just as a family friend and I love Aruba, I love traveling and I had a great time. And so then when she enters singles, obviously we're already friends, I'm friends with the family, but there definitely starts to become a for me you know, speaking for myself, um, a physical attraction and you know, and at first you know, trying to, you know even um, you know, take it to the Lord and you know, um, but I remember praying about it and you know, but they're definitely physical attractions. This girl is gorgeous, she's great, she laughs at my jokes, that type of thing initially.

Speaker 4: 19:54

That's awesome steph what was going on yeah, so we would, um, I would be attending singles ministry and then there would be a lot of times where I would tell my parents that we're going to go hang out with the singles from church and they're all for that, they're super supportive, because obviously those are not like my high school friends, my high school worldly friends. So after sometimes singles events that Chad and I would hang out together, after that alone out together after that alone, um, um. So my parents obviously had they, like chad said that he was a family friend and they trusted him, so they probably had their guard down with him, um and um. I never shared um with my parents that I had any romantic interests with Chad and so anything. I'm thinking of this proverb that it says stolen water is sweet and bread eaten in secret is pleasant, which is Proverbs 9, 17. So Chad and I would kind of pretty much hang out secretly and so that was exciting and pleasurable and that's how things started moving forward.

Speaker 2: 21:11

Yeah. So again, this is your guy's story. You know what happened. There's something, there was a failure or a falling. Again, as you desire to share it and tell it Again, remind it every juncture. I'm going to keep reminding people. If you're just tuning in, you it again. Reminded every, every juncture. I'm going to keep reminding people. If you're just tuning in, you're going man, this is tough. What are they talking about? We're talking about God's grace. We're talking about God's goodness and and there's sometimes there's a Valley to get there, sometimes there's difficulty, but we are talking about the goodness of God today, but right now we're at this part of the story. What's going on in your guys' lives? What happens?

Speaker 3: 21:44

Well before, before any, I guess, physical lines were ever crossed. One church, you know, I'll just say church elder. You know he spoke to me like you know, maybe seeing there's some chemistry, or or seeing like you guys look like maybe there's more than you're, more than friends, and and that, and that was about it, just like be aware, or you know accountability. Or seeing like you guys look like maybe there's more than you're, more than friends, and in that and that was about it, just like be aware, or you know accountability, and and I remember seeking the Lord and a Bible verse that came to me which doesn't you know. At the time I thought maybe it's some confirmation for Steffi and I.

Speaker 3: 22:18

But the Bible verse is found in Mark 5, 36, and Jesus is talking to Jairus but it says do not be afraid, only believe. And this verse, what it meant to me at that time was you know Steffi, first of all, she's beautiful. Does she even like me? You know, does she even like me? Does she just think I am just the family, you know friend? You know, does she like me? Does she just think I am just the family friend? Does she like me? There's that normal, or maybe it's more normal for me guy insecurity. Then there's the. I am older than her. If I tell my brothers in Christ, they may not approve, her parents may not approve, and so it's, it's a lot of fear, and so this Bible verse may be misapplied, you know. But at the time do not be afraid to only believe. And so I'm going to. I want to point out later that that's probably the last time I listened to the Bible verse, because all the decisions were based out of fear. You know I'm afraid.

Speaker 3: 23:23

I'm afraid what other people will think. I'm afraid, you know, why don't we tell somebody? You know, I think we're afraid they're going to tell us to stop or, you know, don't be alone. Well, we want to be alone.

Speaker 3: 23:34

And so at some point, as Stephanie mentioned, after different singles events, at first, you know, being, you know, maybe just being dumb it seemed like sometimes naturally we'd kind of end up together you know where, but it, you know, I can't claim that too long, because then it started to end up. We are definitely don't want to speak for her, but it was evident that she definitely. It seemed like the feelings were mutual. And so then there's a physical element that starts progressive. You know it started with just, you know, our first kiss in her car and then even that, I'm sure there's times, like you know, we need to slow down, and then it just kind of escalates, and then let's ask forgiveness, and then it escalates, and then at some point I don't want to move faster than you want us to move here, but at some point we cross, you know, all lines and I know the whole time.

Speaker 3: 24:41

I'm still the singles leader. There's times where I'm teaching singles. Again, I think the rationalization is. I ask forgiveness. I feel bad. I ask forgiveness, god forgave me. We're not going to do it again. Then we do it again, and so the whole time her and I are obviously spending a lot of time together, but my heart is getting colder, harder, spiritually speaking. You know, you kind of feel yourself, your soul, dying. You know the excitement that six months before, like the Lord's really using me, he's doing a work in my life that's gone away and it's and it's hardening. I'm still going to church on the outside, I'm single, like I said, and I'm at Wednesday, I'm at Sunday, I'm at Sunday night. I'm still. I'm there all the time, but it's becoming a drudgery, it's becoming just a very much an outward activity. Yeah, steph.

Speaker 4: 25:43

So fast forwarding in February 2008,. My period was late, so I made an appointment with my GP and it was there that I found out that I was pregnant. And I made the appointment right before work and I wanted chad to be there. But maybe, chad, you can say what happened, why you couldn't make it looking back, we know the um, the lord.

Speaker 3: 26:18

He of course is against you, know he. He of course is against sin. He doesn't tempt us, we know that, but at some point he allows us to have the consequences of our choices. But at another point, in his grace and mercy, it's like enough and he's going to expose the situation.

Speaker 3: 26:40

And there is a sense of hypocrisy I'm sharing and I know that last night, or a week ago, stephanie and I were acting totally inappropriate. I'm still spending time with George and Barbara, my favorite people in the church, yet they have no idea what's going on, and that kills a soul. And so when she finds out that that her period, um, she missed her period and obviously it's looking like she's pregnant. Uh, there there's also this there's a side of me that again is very clueless and blinded by sin.

Speaker 3: 27:18

But at least this could be the end of the, the cover-up, and I was teaching in Homestead at that time. And so when she had her appointment, it was after school, and of course my heart's beating fast, I'm going to leave school right away and what happened was and I don't know if it's happened before or since, but there is some huge power outage citywide and so the school will not dismiss the students on time because they don't want elementary school kids, middle school kids crossing streets where there's no stoplights and so we get the word over the intercom, like you got to hold on to your students and in my mind I was like I got to leave and so it just added to this insane tension that's going on in me and I had to stay extra an hour or two.

Speaker 3: 28:10

There was no getting out of there and then, of course, as soon as I could, I am speeding north to meet Steffi after her appointment. That already happened in Kendall. But you just looking back, and maybe at the time I knew this it's like I'm trying to hold this together and it's like I'm trying to hold this together and it's like you are fighting God, you know. You know God is gonna at this point you're just trying to you know I don't know what hold this together and um, and there are greater forces at work here, and and um, anyway, that's what it felt like at the time you know, it sounds to me like it's.

Speaker 2: 28:45

It's. It's the beginning of like hey, you're not in control here yeah you know I'm, I'm taking the wheel now, kind of thing.

Speaker 4: 28:51

So, stephanie, please, um, so chad found me crying in my car as I am soaking in this news. Um, but then I had to honestly suck it up and rush and go to work like nothing happened. So that was difficult.

Speaker 2: 29:21

You were teaching, or was dance, or what?

Speaker 4: 29:24

was work. You were teaching, or was dance or what was work. I was working at the front desk at a dance studio. It's funny because I don't really think about these moments because it's been so long, and then when I talk about it I get emotional.

Speaker 2: 29:51

Absolutely.

Speaker 4: 29:54

But what I wanted to say was Galatians 6, 7, for whatever man sows, that he will also reap. Um. So I had been sowing this sexual sin for a long time, not just with Chad. Um, like I had mentioned before, there was a strong pull. My high school friends. I was living for myself in high school, I would lie to my parents, I had different guy relationships, so obviously this had been sowing for some time now. And whom the Lord loves, he chastens, so he truly loves me, and he just had this happen.

Speaker 4: 30:50

And when I found out, many different ideas were running through my mind, such as having an abortion or giving the baby up for adoption, or running away or moving away, because obviously I'm a young adult, I am still finding my way. I had many plans that I for myself. I had many plans of what I wanted to study, or visions of what I thought my life would have to work hard and reach these different goals that I had in mind. And just, and how quickly all that changed in in just one one appointment with the doctor. And then the doctor also was advocating for um, for um, abortion, since she could tell that I was very young and um, and obviously that ran across my mind, but I would never, ever have an abortion um, and so I was very heartbroken and it was a lot to soak in.

Speaker 2: 32:26

And Chad. When you got there, what were you feeling?

Speaker 3: 32:30

What were you thinking? I think for me it was surreal. I also think because of the blindness of sin, the hardening of the heart, some of the things. If I speak honestly, you know it's. I hate to use these, you know hard words on the air for your listeners, but you know I was just really just stupid. And for her, for me I'm comforting her, but I'm not as devastated as her. I haven't probably thought of the consequences. I'm older. For me, I'm closer to wanting to be married. I haven't thought this through at all. And so for me, I'm comforting her. She's crying and that's probably. It's hard to remember everything at that point, but I know I was not as distraught as she was and you know in, you know I can say it later. You know I, I love her and you know, but at that point I think I love her and you know, maybe the actions don't line up, but in my mind I love her and you know hope, you know this could lead to marriage, you know. So I'm not as distraught.

Speaker 2: 33:47

I mean, I think that's, and again so thankful for you guys being willing to share. If you just tuned in while I give Chad and Stephanie a moment to breathe, they've been so open with us and just bearing their heart, telling their story, and there's still so much more to tell the best parts, the best parts. I mean God's there through all of it, but, but the point is we just tuned in. This is god's way radio with, here, with. We're here with our dear family, chad and stephanie, and they're telling us their story, some of their story, all that god has done. And please stay tuned if you missed any part of this, uh, please, uh, connect with us. Uh, you know, not knowing exactly when this is going to air, we have some things in the works. We're trying to make all of our interviews available to you online on demand for stream and download. That may already be happening by the time you hear this. It's the tough part about radio and live radio and recording these. So just make sure to connect with us. Stay tuned with God's Way Radio so you can know when and how to listen to this entire conversation.

Speaker 2: 34:51

But Chad and Steph I think that's pretty common, right? People? Oh, we love. We feel all this and I'm sure it'll work out and I love her. I really love her. Do I love her? And just this swirl of emotions and again, one of the reasons I'm so thankful for you guys sharing that that you got to be thoughtful, right. You got to be careful. You got to take things slow, right? We know that the scripture, when it talks about love, right, love protects, love rejoices. In truth, it's not rejoicing in equity, right? Do I love them? Biblically right, and just I mean so many things we could talk on on that subject. So you went to work, you finished your shift and then what did you decide to do?

Speaker 4: 35:32

um, then obviously it's this massive burden on both me and chad's heart. Um, I had a trip planned to go with my sister to Orlando, so I didn't say anything, I didn't tell anybody, the trip went on as planned. This was probably the following weekend I found out, but then Chad took the responsibility to tell my parents.

Speaker 3: 36:06

But he also told a couple people first, yeah, so one of the first things I did was I talked to a brother in Christ that I trusted and confided in them. Then that was a. You know it's coming back. You know that was a Saturday night and coming back. You know that was a saturday night and you.

Speaker 2: 36:26

You don't have to say who it is, but it was somebody from the church. Yes, somebody from the church and the reason I asked that is because, again, I think there's that temptation when something like this happens, it's like, oh, I'm gonna, I'm gonna talk to someone, but you pick like the furthest person right because you're still trying to avoid consequences. But I think it's so important that you talk to someone that was there in your lives. I thought that was important. But, forgive me, continue. Yes.

Speaker 3: 36:48

Well, yeah, this, this guy is amazing and awesome, and I won't uh, I'll say a few names, but not yet. But to that point there were different people speaking into my life, so to speak, and even initially, the few people I tell you there was different advice given and, of course, the few people I tell you there was different advice given. And of course there's some advice that you know downplays things or you know there's the way out of this. You got to get married and, and so there's some advice.

Speaker 3: 37:17

Obviously I'm going to like better than others, but I tell him he's like you have to tell Adrian who I'm serving under, and so the next day is Sunday, and after the service then I tell Pastor Adrian and Pastor Chris who I was both serving under, and I remember telling them at the park and just how, you know, you could just see the sadness, the heartbreak, the you know, I don't know if the disappointment, but for my initial reaction of what I could perceive and you know I haven't mentioned this to them to this day, you know. So I don't really know everything they were thinking, but you know I could see their love and just disappointment on what's happened and the sin that has happened and how the enemy has obviously wrecked this relationship, and I could see their love and then their next advice that, as I recall, was you know I need to tell Pastor Raz, and so that Sunday night I go to church and I so, as was the senior pastor of Calvary chapel, Miami.

Speaker 2: 38:30

Founding pastor.

Speaker 3: 38:31

Yeah, pastor, yes, that's correct. And and uh, I remember, you know, just crying out to the Lord during the whole service and in the Lord. You know he was already working, like Steffi said. You know he, he chastens whom he loves. The chastening was beginning To act like the line between me and God was clear, would not be accurate. But at this point I am seeking the Lord and so I sensed that I also need to obviously tell George and Barbara, steffi's parents.

Speaker 3: 39:03

But after the service, chris and Adrian bring Pastor Raz to the back and I tell Pastor Raz and you know I'll never forget. You know I don't want to put implications that weren't there or put words in people's mouth, but obviously, you know, here you have myself, you know, looking back maybe you know I look at myself as a buffoon, you know, and here I bring this upon a pastor who started the church, who loved the Lees. He led them to the Lord. He'd known the Lees much longer than he'd known this guy from Nashville, tennessee, and the way he was so clear to say I love you. I remember him saying I love you, chad, and then I remember him wanting to be there when I told George and Barbara and I just sensed that it's something I had to do myself. And I just sensed that it's something I had to do myself. And again, pastor Raz, more than me, probably knew the gravity of the situation. More than me he knew maybe a response that could come from George and Barbara or how it could hit them, him as a parent, him as a pastor, him as someone who's walking with the Lord. But I just sensed I got to tell George and Barbara on my own. And so he honored that. I heard later that he was in the neighborhood. He was, you know, ready to come over if you needed. You know, if things got ugly, you know, but I go, I schedule, I scheduled time with George and Barbara and I could, I think at that point I could see in George's eyes that he knew, okay, something's up and I again, I can read into minds, I know what I perceive, but you know that may not be fair to him. So I knew, I felt like he knew that, okay, something's going on. But I don't think they knew, you know what exactly was going on. But so they have me over and they greet me graciously.

Speaker 3: 41:10

I remember going to the bathroom and just looking in the mirror and praying and splashing some water on my face and, you know, knowing that they don't know how their life is about to change. And so then, um, I remember telling them, you know, as they're sitting on the couch and I, I kind of went into some things, uh, my past and, you know, told them some things about me, and then I, you know, told them the steps, uh, what you know, stephanie and I, and then I got to the point where Stephanie's pregnant and again, I'll never forget, you know, their somewhat initial responses of. Also, you know, I cannot imagine, I cannot imagine being in their shoes and how. Maybe it's the prayers of Pastor Raz and Pastor Chris and Adrian. It's a testament to George and Barbara and their relationship with the Lord.

Speaker 3: 42:08

But you know, I can tell there was tension, I can tell there was some awkwardness, I can tell they're fighting, maybe some raw emotion, but what they told me was love, what they shared was love, and you know it's going to be okay. And how they were, you know you could. You could tell they wanted to love on their daughter, who was in Orlando at the time, and so I left that meeting with a huge sense of relief. I remember calling a college friend who did love the Lord and it was praying for me, and just told him, you know, almost like whoosh it went better than I ever thought. And so I kind of drive off and I know that was the Lord, it was God, but the general lack of understanding on my part, even to this day, to me, is egregious. I almost want to get in a time machine and tackle that guy, uh.

Speaker 3: 43:06

But so so that's where that step yeah um left and, and I want to get to what happens next, I don't know.

Speaker 2: 43:12

Stephanie wants to chime in did you know he was meeting with them while you're in orlando? You know?

Speaker 4: 43:18

so I was on my way home from orlando and I know that that Chad was meeting with my parents and it just it blesses my heart to hear that that Pastor Raz was in the vicinity did you not know that?

Speaker 4: 43:33

I didn't know that, um, and because Pastor Raz and my dad, they're like bosom buddies and they're literally twins and just the just looking out for my dad is so sweet, because as a parent now, if I heard news like that I would just go ballistic. Um, but as I come home to my parents, chad has already left, I'm on my way in and they just, they just embraced me when I got home that night. It was clear that they hated the sin, but they still loved me and I did endure a very long lecture that George Lee is known for and I had grown up listening to many times, but it was the longest lecture I've ever had in my life. In my life, um, and so moving on of telling and breaking the news to the other pastors also, but just the response from the church elders towards both me and Chad obviously was very heartbreaking and disappointing, but it's just amazing how much they just cared about my relationship with the Lord.

Speaker 3: 45:54

There's about a week and a half there on our end, uncertainty how everyone's going to respond or what's going to happen next, how everyone's going to respond or what's going to happen next. And again there was some part of me that's like okay. So now I'm. There's a challenge here. Steffi's pregnant. I'm going to move in and handle this the best I can. And I remember, and I'm going to, I'm going to try to fast forward to what I think a very important meeting with the pastors. But I remember buying prenatal vitamins and you know, almost like I'll just go over the leaves like normal. And I remember calling, I think Barbara or she called me and was like hey, I'm coming over, and it was kind of the first kind of you know, just so on my end, so blind, so ignorant, so dumb, to sin, if you will. But my first kind of re rebuff, if you will, where she's like I don't think it's a good time. We're really having a hard time.

Speaker 2: 46:52

Like a reality check.

Speaker 3: 46:53

Yeah, the first reality check and uh, and I can't remember if we made arrangements I'll drop them off or we'll get it from you at church or something. But as I was driving on the turnpike to Homestead where I was living at that time and I don't want to, you know there's so much that happened the next months and I don't want to sound too mystical, but I just sensed the Lord's presence in my car like maybe I never have in my life and it wasn't good. It was the fear of the Lord. And later that night I believe I was in my Bible and a Bible verse that just stuck out to me was Psalms 1826, which says With the pure you will show yourself pure. With the devious you will show yourself shrewd, for you will save the humble people, but you will bring down haughty looks. And you know again, it's hard to describe and I don't want to, you know, extrapolate things, but there's just a sense in me like this is the Lord's daughter. This isn't going to be what you think and maybe you're done with controlling this situation and just the Lord, dealing with me in that way, prepared me for what was to come and again fast-forwarding some individual, different conversations with different people.

Speaker 3: 48:27

But it was a Wednesday night where I think Pastor Chris had called me and was like hey, we want to meet with you before the service. And so I remember going to the church offices and I knock on the door. He greets me and I can just tell from his eyes it's not the normal greeting, you know where. I'm always revert back to nice guy Chad and a smile, and I can just tell from his eyes it's not the normal greeting. I'm always revert back to nice guy Chad and a smile and I can tell this isn't. I think he knew what was coming, but anyway. So I go into the church and every pastor on staff is in there, including my Steffi's dad, george Lee, and I. You know, it's one of those, these moments I'll never forget and I hope you know I do it justice and you know those guys that were there, you know I don't know what they remember and I don't know what Pastor Raz remembers, but to my recollection he did.

Speaker 3: 49:22

Pastor Raz did the majority of the talking. But I look back and I'm just so blessed by Pastor Raz who about a week and a half time went between when I first told him and this meeting. Maybe it was two weeks, but it shows to me that Pastor Raz sought the Lord, the pastor sought the Lord and nothing was done quickly or in haste and some of the things that stuck out to me were he. He started breaking down my sin and do you know how this affects the youth that you minister to? And he mentioned people by name and I won't do that, but of how this could affect these youth, and he mentioned by name and how it could affect these youth that look up to you. He mentioned George and Barbara and how their dreams for Steffi and her wedding and just what I did was disastrous, and I remember this one phrase sticks out, but he specifically said he's like I don't know how Barbara Lee can stand.

Speaker 2: 50:47

No, of course, of course.

Speaker 3: 50:49

He said you know, I don't know how Barbara Lee can stand being in the same room with you. And you know, again, I want to kind of collect myself for the sake of my radio voice here. But you know, fast forward to here. But you know, fast forward to head. You know, I, I love barbara lee, I love george lee. They're my father-in-law, if we haven't gotten that out yet, my mother-in-law.

Speaker 3: 51:12

But even now to think about, you know, I I can't. We just went to vacation together. You know, I can't imagine, like you know, remember the time where I almost destroyed you guys lives. You know, I can't. You know, even now it's like, yeah, I really don't want to talk about this, and so it is a testament to the Lord.

Speaker 3: 51:32

But the whole point I'm trying to get through is, for the first time in my life, god used Pastor Raz like stop and think about the consequences of your sin, man. Do you think about the ripple effect that this could have to all the people in the church, to these people that have taken you into their home, that have loved you? And I also know how he mentioned how the enemies of God, satan, has used this to blaspheme the name of God and how that just stung. I remember him saying do you not even fear the Lord? And how that stung. And uh, you know it's just anyway. I know God used the pastors, and especially Pastor Rez, and I know for him this had to be, up to that point, one of the most difficult things in his ministry, I would presume. But anyway, I'm so grateful and I'm so thankful to have a pastor that spent the time, who wasn't afraid to confront, and he did it in such a way that it stung, um, and thankfully fruit came from that. And then I remember the conversation ending with him just flat out asking me in front of these guys, do you love stuffy? In front of her dad, and you know, for a guy who, who was driven so much by fear, you know what are they going to think? Uh, you know who was driven so much by fear, what are they going to think? They'll never agree with this. I remember I don't know if this was the one manly thing I did up to this point, but I looked at him and I said I do. I love Steffi, but I can see how no one would believe it at this point. And he goes what do you mean? And I said my actions obviously do not show that I love her.

Speaker 3: 53:24

And then it was told to me and you know there are reasons and I you know for sake of time I won't get into them all, but looking back, I agree with every single one of the reasons. It was best that I leave the church and I think it was said for a time, but in a sense there was no timetable given. You know it could have been and I don't think they said this, but it could have been. You need to leave the church. You know it was indefinitely and there were reasons given and I can. You know some of the reasons. You know there's a lot of people that obviously, when this comes out, there's some that already know family members, that know there's a lot of emotions and you know it's best for everybody you probably not to be here. It also, you know he you know again I don't want to talk too much because he did a better job than I'm doing retelling it and I know he pulled scripture of Corinthians and someone caught in sexual immorality and the way Paul prescribed.

Speaker 3: 54:28

So that Wednesday I shut the door, not knowing when I would ever step foot on Calvary Chapel, miami, also knowing I was not going to see Steffi for a very long time. Any interaction would be done through texting her father or speaking to her father, but Pastor Reza did not leave me just out there in the wind. We scheduled times where I was going to meet weekly with Pastor Chris and Pastor Adrian, and then I was going to attend another local, calvary Chapel church, and I do before. You know, I don't know if you want to, Steffi wants to talk or you want to take it another direction, but that Wednesday night I was at a different church and I don't remember.

Speaker 3: 55:11

I was broken, I was distraught, I was an emotional train wreck and I don't remember a word the pastor said, but at this point I had already begun seeking the Lord and asking for forgiveness, and I remember a phrase that the Lord just spoke so clear in my heart and he said though you hurt me the most, I am the first to forgive. I am the first to forgive and just to have that feeling you know again whether it was right or not, but the feeling it's like man, there's a lot of people that are angry at you, there's a lot of people that can't stand you, and rightfully so. And here's the Lord telling me I've forgiven you and I'll never forget that.

Speaker 2: 56:08

Yeah, family, you need to mark your calendar. You need to make sure you catch part two. We didn't plan it this way, but there's so much to share. And I do want to conclude with this. You know, steph, if you want to just say something briefly, just you know, I don't know, I don't know. I mean, there's so much, I don't know how you could do that. But I just wanted to say, for anyone listening, we've already heard so much of God's grace and goodness, so it's not like we only gave you the bad part or something like that, but it's almost like we're in the middle here, man. This is like getting to the toughest point and now we're going to see how God starts to redeem and again raise up those who humble themselves. But Stephanie just did want to give you the opportunity to briefly. You know, as this goes out into the world, it's probably going to be a first half and a second half. If you wanted to make any comments here in the end of the first half.

Speaker 4: 57:12

This is just the beginning of a very long and beautiful story story. There's the this whole process of restoration and reconciliation. That happens, but it is a tough story, probably very relatable. But above all, God is on the throne and he just loves Chad and I very much and he wanted us to return to him desperately. So this is just part of our story on our road back to our first love, which is the Lord.

Speaker 2: 58:02

Thank you for tuning in to God's Way Radio. We're here with Chad and Stephanie Bogey, and if you heard the first part of our conversation then you, like all of us, we've been waiting eagerly to hear the rest of the story. If you're hearing this for the first time, you got to catch the first half. Chad and Steph just told us about just what the Lord's done in their life, their upbringing. You know Stephanie her parents coming to church Well, just her, her sister and her mom for a time. And then God getting a hold of her dad's heart and Chad growing up in a Christian home, praying at three years old to commit his life to Christ, and the ups and downs that come with our walk with the Lord and growing in him. And then they led us into their life and, in detail, just went into a bomb that went off, an issue of sexual morality, a testimony of failure, of sin and really feeling the effects of it.

Speaker 2: 59:01

You know, just recapping here again, stephanie shared her heart with us, the hopes and dreams that she had as a young girl, 19, a young adult, just just looking all forward. And and now, what do I do? I'm pregnant and uh, you know chad and only a way he could talk about himself, the, the. You know he used the word the stupidity at the time, not realizing what had happened. And now we're going to jump back into it. Chad is going to another church. He accepted the cards that were dealt to him. He was asked to take some time and some space, some time and some space, and so he's the last one we heard from. And now we're going to jump back into it and check in with Steph on what was going on on her side at this time. So, stephanie, did you know about this meeting that was happening at the church office? What was going on while Chad was having this conversation, asked to step away for a time from the church?

Speaker 4: 1:00:03

I don't remember this meeting happening. What I do remember is showing up to church on Sunday hoping to get a glimpse of Chad and then not seeing him at all and then finding out at church that he would not be returning to Calvary, miami, with no timetable in sight, and that just broke my heart. I think I just I probably drove to church on my own if my parents were serving, so I just got out of there and I left really quick and I was just super angry, I was sad, I was crying, I was um, just fearful and stressed and I just I had no idea what was going to happen and how things were gonna gonna look um the next, what the next um months were gonna gonna look um the next, what the next um months were gonna look like um for me, um. But then I had a meeting myself with Chris and Adrian um, and they it was recommended to me that that they were to start meeting with me weekly. I also met with Alicia weekly just going through scripture and practically they were like how I said before, they obviously were super disappointed and heartbroken towards our whole situation, but they honestly just cared about my relationship with the Lord.

Speaker 4: 1:01:47

So those meetings, obviously my heart wasn't always in the best place, like I don't really want to go to these meetings.

Speaker 4: 1:01:55

I don't really want to sit here and read the Bible right now, here and read the Bible right now. But I felt so like at the mercy of anybody, of anything, because I just felt like practically dirt. So I met, started meeting with them. They would go through scripture with me and it was like they were practically spoon feeding the word to me. It's like I was, it's like I was a little child and I didn't even know how to read my Bible anymore and I didn't know how to hear from him anymore. And it's just so gracious and merciful that they would take the time each week to meet with me, to feed the word to me, to remind me of God's goodness, his grace and His mercy towards me. And just what a beautiful testimony on their part just to be able to do that For me, for somebody who's wreaking havoc in the church and feeling very humbled to have them as people I could glean from and look up to.

Speaker 2: 1:03:11

No, that's awesome. And again, the clarity right. Looking back, right, I felt this way at that time, but now looking back, seeing the fruit of it, being thankful for it. So again, just giving you guys kind of the reins here. What do you want to share next? What happens next? Chad, you're at a different church. Stephanie, you're pregnant, your baby is developing, growing. Maybe people were asking you questions, chad, what you're going through. Whoever kind of wants to take us to? What is going on next?

Speaker 3: 1:03:47

Well, so I started attending a different church and you know, looking back again, when you're going through this situation, in some ways you're insecure, you don't? You know, obviously everybody has a right to be angry with me, you know, but it's hard to. I'm sure I didn't fully necessarily embrace that all the pastors had my best interest in mind, because I can understand how they just might not. Where I was the perpetrator, I was the. You know it was my sin that caused this mess. But I look back and man, I just I know they did. I know, when I went to the new church the pastor just embraced me from the beginning and he didn't know that much. You know, pastor Raz, they were not. You know, I thought maybe they would tell everybody about my you know what this guy did. It wasn't the case.

Speaker 3: 1:04:51

And then I was meeting Adrian and Chris, also once a week. It was, I remember so clearly. You know this Cuban restaurant. I would drive from Homestead and meet them around four o'clock I think.

Speaker 3: 1:05:02

And I remember once Pastor Rez telling me too he was at a meeting and he was just telling me you know, adrian and Chris, their hearts are golden and so insecure at the time, thinking obviously, because my heart isn't. Is that why he's telling me? But I know he was telling me that because, man, their hearts were golden. You know they love me, they were there to help me, they were there to be God's instrument, to draw, build me up in the Word of God, back to the Lord.

Speaker 3: 1:05:36

And those meetings with Chris and Adrian, you know they're priceless and they were getting me into the Word. And you know, hey, read this. They're telling me what to do. To some degree of, read this section, then next week, write, you know, tell us what the Lord showed you. After every service that I attended at the different church, I was to write notes and bring them, and so in some ways it seems so elementary, but in other ways it got me back on the path of hearing from the Lord. And I don't want to again feel free to interject, I don't want to just take the full reins here.

Speaker 2: 1:06:15

Well, one thing I would interject is we haven't used the Christianese yet, but what was happening is restoration. Right, god was restoring you, you know. I I think that if you're listening, you know so much changes church, church culture, the way churches do, thing. But this is a testimony, not the only one, not the only way, but a testimony of of what practically what restoration looks like. I think and we don't have to go on a whole commentary here you, we want to get back to your story, your testimony. But I think that some people expect restoration to be fast. I think that some people see things online the internet, video, celebrity church, all this guys, restoration is god's business, god's timing, god's rules, god's way and uh, that's what we're talking about. But uh, back back to the story well, I, I also.

Speaker 3: 1:07:13

I look back. You know, I think of, uh, chris and adrian and pastor, as you know, the heartache I caused them, the um, I'm sure on the side that I couldn't see them dealing with people at church. They had to. You know, at some point they have to break it to the youth group, they have to break it to the young adults group. They have to tell certain people. They got to deal with certain people and you know I caused them so much again, heartbreak, and you know inconvenience is not the right word, but and yet they showed me so much love. You know, those two guys and those three guys, you know, showed me so much love.

Speaker 3: 1:07:51

But as this is starting, and I'm, I'm not have any interaction in church anymore. I have no social life because it was all around church. I just begin and again, this is the grace of God, just seeking the Lord like never before. And at some point I think I come to the realization. You know you have two choices here. The one is this train wreck could just get worse. I mean, you could go off into oblivion and I don't know what that would be, or you just put all your eggs in one basket and trust the Lord on this. And I also remember, by God's grace just maybe he showed me these two things. I kind of made a resolution All these interactions I have, I'm going to take full responsibility for my sin, don't ever breathe an excuse. And the other one is don't feel sorry for yourself. Do not feel sorry for yourself.

Speaker 3: 1:08:46

And I remember there were other voices speaking to me, you know college friends, and eventually Chris and Adrian. They told me you may want to get a new phone number, which I did. There was also the temptation, you know, I got to call Steffi, also the temptation, you know, I got to call Steffi, steffi, and I argue about this. But the first week I was away, I know she did call me and she wasn't supposed to. I didn't answer it, but that was a temptation. So I did get a new phone number.

Speaker 2: 1:09:19

I remember talking to again a call. I wish people could see this studio right now, just to lighten. Stephanie, do you want to interject?

Speaker 4: 1:09:25

He says that I called him, but I don't think I did.

Speaker 3: 1:09:28

It was on my. I could see on my phone it was her phone number.

Speaker 2: 1:09:32

He still has the screen. No, I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. He screenshotted.

Speaker 3: 1:09:35

now I'm just kidding, but I changed my phone number. I remember there was a couple of college friends that I talked to a lot, and one again was that sympathetic it's not that, you know, almost it's not that big of a deal and uh, you know, I changed my number and I did not talk to them for a long time. I just couldn't Um.

Speaker 2: 1:09:54

And then there was another college friend, man, I gotta again I gotta interject because that takes such ownership. And again, I know that you want the credit to go to the Lord, both of you guys, chad and Stephanie, you want to give all the honor and all the credit to Jesus Christ. But again, we're just looking at so much, and so much of this is practical help, insight for people that need to hear it. You know that takes such ownership and such courage and such boldness to say you know what that voice is, not from the Lord. I'm not going to listen to that. I'm going to totally cut you off, man. I hope people are listening. I mean, that's so important. So important because I think again in our day and age, there's just this whatever it is, oh yeah, you should, no, you should feel sorry for yourself. No, you are entitled to this and it's just, it's not the way I think of the Lord. So again, sorry interjecting, but, chad, go ahead.

Speaker 3: 1:10:48

Okay, yes, yeah. So I changed my number and I did have to put out those influences that were not giving me, you know, pointing me to the Lord, and that also, again, I want to be careful because this I don't want to have a. You know, do these five things if you're in this place and this was just a natural reaction that the Lord did in me. But even you know, I wasn't watching television anymore, I just couldn't. My stomach was in knots. I wasn't on the internet just surfing around, my stomach was in knots, you know, I wasn't on the internet just surfing around, my stomach was in knots. There's so much that we could go into and I don't want to. This could go on too long.

Speaker 3: 1:11:35

But from my perspective, my world was destroyed and it was destroyed because of my sin. And I think, even back to it was much more than just Steffi's parents and my uh, thankfully future sister-in-law and brother-in-law. But, um, I used to spend a lot of time with her cousin's family. I used to play with their, their children, which are now, you know, they're, I won't say, all grown up now and and that it the relation was over, it was done. You know, there there's no interaction that you know the list of. You know consequences, and so my life is a mess. There's one chance here. It's to seek the Lord, and one of the first Bible verses that the God really spoke to me at the other church I was attending was it came from Luke, chapter 24, verse 5. From Luke, chapter 24, verse five. And this is when Jesus was. He's going to, he resurrected, and the women are going to the tomb on the first day of the week and they meet an angel there and the angel says to them why do you seek the living among the dead? And the way the Lord used that verse in my life was well, those women, you know, if you were to ask them, do they believe in Jesus? Of course they do. Do they believe everything he said? Of course they do. Well then, why were they searching in the one place? He said he would not be and the Lord showed me.

Speaker 3: 1:12:52

You know, you say you believe the Bible. You say you know you're a Christian and all your actions deny that. Your actions, you know the 1 Corinthians, 5, 19 to 20,. You know, do not know. Your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit. You're bought with a price. You are not your own and the whole life I'm living defies that. And it's amazing too, where this verse cuts so deep. But it was not condemnation. Suddenly there was this like possibilities. It's like, wow, what if I start believing the word? What if I start applying the word? Like we can start moving here and the word after that verse just started to really come alive to me.

Speaker 3: 1:13:35

And then simultaneously, this is in the month of March and you know, I will say unequivocally this is the worst month of my life. But I don't want to say this is how the Lord dealt with me and I, you know, I don't even want to. I don't know where to give the credit, you know. But another strange occurrence that was happening in the month of March was Bible verses about being single started to just come up all the time. And the verses in Corinthians where Paul talks about where it is better to be single, that would come up all the time. And the verses in Corinthians where Paul talks about where it is better to be single, that would come up. Verses where Jesus talked about being a eunuch or being single, it would come up Somebody giving a testimony about being single.

Speaker 3: 1:14:17

And so I started to, as I'm seeking the Lord spending time, and it's almost like two things are going on at once the Lord's rebuilding my love for the word I'm drawing closer, and then this word that I may be single the rest of my life. And I even remember just almost having these like day vision dreams of the future of Steffi, of the baby who's now growing up and I'm not the husband, and just kind of getting to this point where it's like, you know, we jumped the gun. Who's to say that Lord called me? With Steffi there's a real possibility I am not going to be with her and that God has other plans for her. He has other plans for me. And as that started to become a very real thing, the Lord was purifying my heart, he was purifying my motives. And I remember one night it culminated.

Speaker 3: 1:15:15

You know, I was spending so much time with the Lord and I would go on walk, I would walk miles and I'd cry out to the Lord. I'd go to the park all day Saturday, I'd cry out to the Lord, and it culminated one night. I remember it was like four in the morning and I'm just on my knees and you know, lord, are you going to? You know, am I going to be with Steffi and the it just he really spoke to my spirit and said you know, deny yourself, take up your cross and follow me. And I, you know so clear to me and I took that as no, you're not going to be with Steffi.

Speaker 3: 1:15:50

And I remember the next day trying to get a hold of Pastor Raz calling him. Thankfully he didn't answer that time because I wanted to tell him. You know, I got a word, you know we can kind of move forward in this sense, god's not going to bring us together. I remember calling my mom and I believe I told her somewhat that and she just kind of encouraged me to keep seeking the Lord and in my mind I had moved to this place where, okay, he's not going to bring us together. In my mind I had moved to this place where, okay, he's not going to bring us together.

Speaker 3: 1:16:25

And then the one friend I alluded to, who loved the Lord, he was actually a missionary in Indonesia. He wasn't at that time but he is currently. I called him and I remember like I finally get to this place where it's like, okay, the Lord's not going to bring us together. I'm going with the Lord. Whatever happens, I'm going to live for the Lord, no, not going to bring us together. I'm going with the Lord, whatever happens. I'm going to live for the Lord, no matter what.

Speaker 3: 1:16:47

And I remember him telling me well, the Lord could be doing a Abraham Isaac thing here and I was so mad at him because what that did was it opened the possibility like maybe he's still going to bring you together with Steffi, and I didn't want to hear that because I needed some sort of a move in this direction. And anyway, he did that and I was upset about it. But the Lord started doing another work and you know, once he kind of purified those motives. You know, this isn't about me and Steffi right now, it's about me and him. And can you seek me, no matter what, no matter what happens, can you seek me for me?

Speaker 3: 1:17:25

And that was the trajectory of my relation with him. The other thing I wanted to point out, as it comes to my mind, is I sought him and I asked for forgiveness. I asked him for cleansing for what I did the sexual sin but he started bringing up sins from elementary school. He started bringing up sins from elementary school. He started bringing up sins from middle school and high school and college and when I had lived in other states and and, and he started bringing these things up and, uh, you know, I would just sit for hours and he would the Lord would bring up stuff.

Speaker 3: 1:17:57

I will confess it, I will get cleansed, and I just heard a pastor even today on God's Way Radio talk about how, you know, our heart is compared to a garden in multiple places in the Bible and how sometimes we just mow the weeds down but they're not pulled out, they're not taken out, and the Lord used this time along with him, I know, without a doubt to rip out things that had been there for a very long time, and I am so thankful for that.

Speaker 3: 1:18:29

And sexual sins that I had forgotten about, that he brought up. And again, it wasn't to condemn, it was to cleanse.

Speaker 3: 1:18:38

And there began a work in me of cleansing, of freedom, of a desire of purity, uh, like I never had in my entire life, of a place I thought I'd never go. You know, I thought there'd always. I'd always be kind of um haunted by these sins of the past. I'll always be haunted by these things that happen in various stages of my life. And the lord did, did a work in me in those months of March, april, into May where he just really ripped those out by the roots.

Speaker 2: 1:19:11

Oh man, awesome, Awesome, stephanie. So what's going on on your end your meeting, you know now you're what? Three months pregnant, four months pregnant, end of summer, if I have my timetable correctly. Um, you know, is there anything else to say from that season? Well, you know, I know, eventually, you, you, you guys wanted to speak, you, he wanted to be involved at least with, with his son, and so what, what was happening getting to that point, for you.

Speaker 4: 1:19:42

Well, the news came out in February, so we're about in March and April, and during March and April I felt very depressed and felt very lonely, but really, what had been brought out of Chad was happening to me too. I had to regain and remend the relationship with my parents. So that was already in itself difficult just being pregnant in my room by myself, living with my parents just some awkward days, myself living with my parents just some awkward days, um and um. If I, if Chad was current, current, if we, if I was still able to communicate with Chad at this time, or if I was still talking to Chad, it would have just been, um, a total distraction. So, looking back, what a huge blessing it was just that we had this time apart to really focus on our relationship with the Lord.

Speaker 4: 1:20:47

And it was only until April where I started to realize of how many other sins that I needed to ask for forgiveness. And so I sat down with my parents and I started sharing to them some other things that I had done and just crying out to them and asking them for forgiveness. And it wasn't until after that moment where I felt so much freer and a burden was lifted and, honestly, my eyes just opened up at that point. Finally, a spiritual maturity of light bulb just turned on at that point and I wanted to read Proverbs 28, 13. It says Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy. And my parents were just the perfect picture of Christ's love towards me and how merciful they were with me, along with super long lectures with me. Along with super long lectures, but just the process of restoration with my relationship with the Lord, restoration with my parents' relationship, and, moving along the story, my belly is growing but amazingly I was not.

Speaker 4: 1:22:24

Everybody in the church had known at this point, only the leaders and um. So it wasn't until june that it was recommended to us that a church family meeting would be called, and so june, I believe I'm about six months, so I was able to hide it from the church, with the church not knowing what was going on for about six months. So Chad and I both wrote these apologetic letters that we had prepared, that we had prepared, and it wasn't until that it was a Friday night, nobody knows exactly what's going to be happening or shared. They kind of like advertised the meeting in a sense, like we're going to be talking about, like the new church building and property plans and some other things and I'm just like in the back cry room dreading this.

Speaker 2: 1:23:30

Was Chad there for the meeting.

Speaker 4: 1:23:33

Chad was there and this is like the first time that I am seeing him in the corner of my eye. So, moving on, I read my letter. Chad goes on stage. I read. He read his tears. There was like dead silence. Tears are being shed left and right.

Speaker 4: 1:23:55

Um, and it was an interesting night. But I had felt so much love and grace from the church. Some ladies would come up to me and they were just blessed how, how brave I was and they would share, how that they themselves had actually gone gone through an abortion and had gone through, um a similar situation like mine, and how they were just trying to encourage me, how they were blessed that I was not going that route and that I was keeping the baby. And that night was just. It was a lot was said that night, but it was just like it broke my heart because I know that my, what I'm sharing to them, is disappointing so many people and and you never know how much sin can affect um, like Chad was saying this ripple effect and how much. And it's not. It wasn't until that moment where I physically saw how much these people really cared for me. They hated the sin, but they still still loved me.

Speaker 2: 1:25:33

Wow, you know that that's amazing. Again, that detail you know because if you just tuned in to God's Way Radio, if you just tuned into our conversation, it's repeated. You know, when Steph first found out she was pregnant, she shared with us in the first half of our conversation how every thought ran through her mind, including abortion. She explained how she quickly dismissed it. You know, I'm not going to go there. I'm not going go there, not gonna do that. But for it to come up again, uh, just the, the miracle and the grace, uh, that, uh, your son was born and would be, uh, born again. I think it's such an important issue, the sanctity of life, um, getting to your son being born. If there's anything else to say from from that time of pregnancy or leading up to it, for sure fill us in. But we want to get to eventually that. But Chad, yes.

Speaker 3: 1:26:31

Well, just so. Steffi took us up to June, but I do think there's a few important things I want to mention that lead me up to June.

Speaker 3: 1:26:40

But so the month of again, the month of March, I would say, was the worst month in my life and it's interesting because the Lord was doing a work in all of my life. And there were other areas of my life. My finances were off the way. I spent money. I remember I had an expired driver's license and I didn't have car insurance and and that, could you know, I make that right and I still have the picture of my driver's license that I took in early March and it is the saddest picture I've ever seen and it's just.

Speaker 3: 1:27:13

I couldn't betray what was going on in my heart and I remember part of. I remember Pastor Chris and Adrian saying you need to take some time to mourn over your sins, and I definitely the Lord was doing that work. And I also remember, as I got more accustomed to the new church, there was one particular. They were having a Saturday potluck or something and somehow Pastor Chris called me and he knew I was going to go. Maybe I told him or something. He's just like I think you shouldn't go. It's kind of a social thing what the Lord's doing in you right now. I think you shouldn't go. And I look back at something like that and it's like, oh, come on, I look back now and I'm so grateful. I'm so thankful that they were there to keep me laser focused, allowing the Lord to do what he was doing in my life. And.

Speaker 3: 1:28:06

I was going through the devotional utmost for his highest and in April there are a few different ones where he starts referencing in utmost for his highest about Abraham and Isaac and as the Lord started to clean me and purify me and get me seeking him, suddenly it's like he was changing my thoughts. He was doing something different in me. And another one last thing I want to mention. I don't want to belabor this, but I was meeting with Chris and Adrian weekly and it was very, it was hard, it was challenging. They were challenging me as they should.

Speaker 3: 1:28:40

And then simultaneously I was meeting with with Alfred, who went to our church, who now is in Kentucky, and he went to our church at that time and I got permission to meet with him and I would meet on Friday nights. He would drop his kids off at youth group and then he would meet me at McDonald's and I would sit in his minivan while he went through the book of Romans and he would again. It shows how Pastor Rouse was so sensitive to what was going on. He didn't. Alfred had no idea what was going on, he just knew obviously something had happened.

Speaker 2: 1:29:11

And he was a leader in the church?

Speaker 3: 1:29:13

Yeah, he was a leader in the church and he just started discipling me in the book of Romans and there was no baggage or I need to teach this guy and he would go through the grace of God, salvation by grace, the love of God, and it just ministered to me so much on God's grace and I remember even thinking the thought of you know, if God hasn't left me yet, he's not leaving me. And that idea didn't lead to like that means I can do anything. It led to I gotta give this, I gotta give God everything, I gotta walk closer to this Lord. And it just those weekly meetings with Alfred through the book of Romans, did so much for me. But moving ahead to the month of May, again, this whole time I'm teaching full time and I know my students if they, you know they're out there. The teacher looked very depressed, I'm sure, during those months. But suddenly there were these times of like God giving me joy and around May things started to change and I even there were times where suddenly Alfred would be like I'm going to pray for your wife, your future wife, and to me it seemed strange. I remember my pastor of the other church I was attending calling me and it's like the Lord just pressed it upon me to start praying for you and your wife and it was like the Lord was telling me, you know, maybe I am going to get married. And then it's like, you know, I hope it's Steffi. And I was also fearful, like maybe the Lord's going to take away my desire for Steffi. You know, if I surrender to him, and as I surrender to the Lord, as he's putting things to death, I remember I was in, it was in the month of May, and I'm sitting in a very boring professional development for Miami Dade public schools and the Lord's showing me, through the last couple months of no contact with her whatsoever, of surrendering my life to him, of, you know, everything towards her. You know, did I love her or did I just love the sin? And he showed me he had put in me a true love for her, a true love for the baby inside of her. And, uh, and he still hadn't confirmed, you know, am I going to marry her?

Speaker 3: 1:31:29

And and so, again to fast forward, it was May 25th, a Sunday evening, and my, my two old, two brothers that lived in Miami, were going to church at Calvary, miami on a Sunday night I was not that lived in Miami, were going to church at Calvary, miami, on a Sunday night. I was not. And I remember just sitting there at home and the Lord showing me the Bible verse be still and know that I am God. And just sitting there. And then the Lord began to show me. You know, he was going to bring Steffi and I together and I remember he was showing me, he was telling me, you know, you trying to do this was your Ishmael. You tried to do it in the flesh, I'm going to do it and it's going to be your Isaac. And I also remember he showed me the Bible verse, psalm 84, 11, which says for the Lord, god is a sun and shield. The Lord bestows favor and honor and no good thing does he withhold from the world. Am I blameless? And I turn the Bible on the very next. I turn it to the New Testament. It opens to Ephesians 1, 4. And it says and it says, and you know just, I remember weeping as the Lord showing me. You know it's his grace, the reason why we get anything is him.

Speaker 3: 1:32:52

And around the same time the Lord showed me Matthew 11, 11, which the verse almost seems obscure, but it's become almost a life verse and it says Jesus is talking. And he says Assuredly, I say to you among those born of women there. So what a great testimony to John the Baptist. But he goes on to say but he who is least in the kingdom of heaven is greater than he. And why is this? Because it's Christ in Christ, everything is in Christ. It's not about me trying harder, it's not about me. It's about me believing of what Christ did and who I am in Christ. I don't deserve Steffi. I didn't deserve her back then, I don't deserve her now. But it's the love of Christ.

Speaker 3: 1:33:40

And so then, going into that meeting in June, I was in a whole different frame of mind, and it was not an easy night, going up to the stage reading a prepared statement of how sorry and repentant I was. I remember again Pastor Raj is speaking, so much love. And I remember so many faces coming up and giving me words of encouragement, some, you know some thinking I'll be back to church next week. Others may be thinking I remember one. You know, hey, don't run from this. And you know I'm past that at this point.

Speaker 3: 1:34:19

But I'll never forget all the people that just showed me so much unconditional love. And you know I'm not going to start saying names, but for me, you know, I'll never I hope I'll never forget that, and some of these people still go to church and you know, I will never forget the love of God they showed me. And then the other thing there were some people that didn't come up, and you know people and I, you know, that didn't come up, and you know, you know there was this disappointment like, oh man, you know so, so and so maybe they're still upset. And and uh, again the good advice in that I had at the time, and again this, this friend, uh, that I had from college, him telling me you know, all of this is your fault. And just going back to that, yeah.

Speaker 3: 1:35:09

Amazing friend, all of this is your fault and kind of settling. You know, if they don't forgive me, it takes years. It's still my fault. It's not their fault, it's my fault. If they never forgive me, it's my fault. And you know that did do something in me.

Speaker 3: 1:35:28

And then the next day I had, I flew. I flew to Oregon for the whole summer. I was going to be in Oregon and uh, I remember the Lord speaking to me on the airplane, opening up the Bible, him giving me scriptures. I remember George Lee texting me words of encouragement and uh again. And then going back to the promises the Lord gave me he's going to bring us together. He is going to bring us together. And I had doubts about that. And you know, did I even hear from the Lord? And he gave me more scriptures of confirmation.

Speaker 3: 1:35:57

And then my very first Sunday in Bend, oregon, the pastor starts talking. And I failed to mention this, but when Alfred and I were going through the book of Romans, we left off in Romans eight. My very first Sunday in Oregon for the summer, the pastor I've never been there in my life opens up the Bible and says we're starting Romans nine. And I also remember, during the sermon, thinking to myself did God really speak to me? Ishmael, isaac, could that be the Lord? As I am thinking that from the pulpit the pastor says Ishmael, his brother Isaac, and then the very next verse the pastor mentions he goes back to Genesis two for whatever reason, I don't remember even what he was talking about and then he says the words from Satan did God really say? And from that moment I knew that the Lord spoke to me and it's the enemy who's trying to get me to question it, and that changed everything. You know for me going forward, that I'm not. This is still a mess. I got to seek the Lord, but I know where this is headed and I'm not. I'm not in this purgatory of uncertainty. And then the last thing I want to mention quickly.

Speaker 3: 1:37:10

That summer the Lord did a work in my family's life and I haven't mentioned them that much. But before I went home, my parents, they unplugged the television. I said I don't want to come home unless the television's unplugged. They did for me and we would spend evenings doing devotionals. We would sing hymns. I told them not to talk to me about Stephanie. My dad would tell me like oh, your mom's upstairs talking to you, know who again and that would make me mad. But I look back and the Lord was bringing my mom and my future wife together and the Lord was just doing so many sweet things through this situation that summer.

Speaker 2: 1:37:52

Oh man, chad, I like that. Your dad's a funny guy For sure. I mean, if we were to talk about all the people that are part of the story, all the moments, all the stories, I mean just I could, the way you described it. I could picture you and Alfred there in the van and just talking about the Bible Just amazing. So I'm sure there's more to talk about.

Speaker 2: 1:38:15

I know we're going to miss stuff. I know your guys' hearts is. You know you treasure everyone that was there, everyone that God used, all the love. Like you said, right, you don't even want to try to mention names because you're going to miss stuff. We All the love. Like you said, right, you don't even want to try to mention names because you're going to miss stuff. We know that for sure. But we definitely want to finish the story. We're starting to get on the upward track here of the story. Right, there was a tough part there in the middle, but, Steph, so we're getting to delivery day. You know you're dealing with. How was the pregnancy? Were you sick a lot? What was that like?

Speaker 4: 1:38:48

it was, it was tough, easy it was fine. I I I didn't get any, um barely any um first trimester sickness cool um, maybe just got some sciatica pain in the back.

Speaker 4: 1:39:05

Um, I was very nervous, obviously, for the delivery and what it's going to be like. But there's so many awesome ladies in the church that was telling me about their birth story. And don't worry, just trust the Lord, everything's going to be okay. It's only one day. You're not even going to remember it the next day. So I just had beautiful support and women reaching out to me. I had a baby shower that was thrown for me that I was super grateful for. I didn't even ask for it. Just once you have a baby in the church, it's like there's this underground force of baby items that just show up on your doorstep. And so Tyler was just. He's our. He's Tyler's the name that we chose for our baby and, um, he was well loved. Um, before he was born and um, he, we were given so many things. I had every single type of furniture that I needed for the baby strollers, car seat, you name it. And then, moving forward to the day of delivery it was a Sunday night, but reversing really quick.

Speaker 2: 1:40:21

Yeah, of course.

Speaker 4: 1:40:23

I had not seen or talked really to Chad um up until like pretty much one week before the baby was born. So we finally had um a day where he came over to the house and I was finally able to see and actually talk to him and I was probably looking all bloated and chubby and pregnant, um, but he hadn't seen or talked to me since February. I got one special birthday phone call from him in July, um, but that was it and um, this is just fast forwarding really quick. So it wasn't only until one week before that Chad and I we were able to talk and pick a name for Tyler.

Speaker 2: 1:41:16

Now you know again. We've talked about so much and you shared with us the reality of you know. As a 19 year old, did I love him, did I not love him In this time, are you growing to love Chad? Is this happening already in this separation time?

Speaker 4: 1:41:32

It was definitely happening. I have these amazing confirmation Bible verses that the Lord showed me about Chad and it was just the spiritual maturity that it took on his part and the submission and being able to go through this whole process of being obedient and listening to the church leadership and going to a different church and listening to my parents' requests, and that just blew me away. And in Psalm 15, what blessed me was verse 4, part B, but honors those who fear the Lord, who keeps an oath even when it hurts, and does not change their mind. Whoever does these things will never be shaken. And so when I came across that verse, I knew that was Chad and just the love of Christ growing in him, his relationship with the Lord. That just blew me away and that is what made me fall in love with him.

Speaker 2: 1:42:57

That's awesome. So you had a baby. You guys met a week before and planned for him to be there and not be there.

Speaker 4: 1:43:12

What, what, uh, what was going on there? What was the arrangement?

Speaker 4: 1:43:14

so everything was still very much like walking on eggshells of course, yeah um, but ever since the baby was born, I was able to see chad and talk to chad every single day. My dad was very gracious with him and every time Chad would ask for permission to come over and see the baby, the answer was always yes, as long as both my parents were there. But we took baby steps to safeguard our relationship because obviously, we went ahead of the Lord and this time around we wanted to do um, we wanted the Lord to be leading, we wanted to follow um the Lord and the right steps and being above reproach. And um, if I wanted to send Chad a text message, I would send it to my dad first and then my dad would forward it to him. Um, and it just went from seeing chad, not talking to him nothing, zero, nothing at all um to seeing him every single, almost single day, every single day wow.

Speaker 2: 1:44:19

And then you got married. What happened? What? Uh, that's awesome. I mean, um, I'm just having fun with you guys. I mean the joy, the joy of what god is doing, hearing it again and, if you just tuned in, we're talking with chad and stephanie and just an amazing story, an amazing testimony, the amazing grace of god and just the joy of of a baby, of new life, the joy of god restoring people, the joy of God restoring people, the joy of God restoring relationships. And so you're starting to talk again. You're seeing each other every day. Chad knows he wants to get married. So what happens next with you guys?

Speaker 3: 1:45:00

Well, to back up briefly. I remember getting a call from George on a Sunday night that Steffi's going into labor, and so then I rushed to the hospital and anyway Tyler was born and I was not in the delivery room but I come in there. I cut his umbilical cord but at that point, if some of it was just when can we meet, type of thing but I still had not been fully restored to calvary chapel, miami, I had not attended a service yet. And so when we get the stephy's in in the room and the baby and I'm coming during the day and again not being restored, not knowing what everybody thinks, and I I just want to to mention the amount of people that came and visited baby Tyler is beyond belief. Like I there may be, I don't know if there's a Vasquez child that breaks the record, but to me it has to be a record. There were so many people coming, some people bringing food, there was never a people giving hugs or you know, there was never an awkwardness. You know this guy, and it was the biggest blessing. And then I'll never forget when the Lees did take Tyler home, you know seeing him in the back, his little baby seat, and they have that little cap on because their head's still a little funny or something. Seat and they have that little cap on because their head's still a little funny, or something. Seeing him drive away was a little heart-wrenching and knowing, okay, there is going to still be a separation here. But, as Steffi mentioned, you know the Lord was so good Every time I can. You know, can I come over after work? George would say, yes, I'd come over for an hour or two and you know there'd be people at church. You know, kind of like, by that time there are some like man, you're in a tough spot or uncertainty. And I knew there was nothing uncertain about our future. The Lord had given me His promises, it was just a matter of time. And so you know, I'm sure you know I get back at church and we move forward and relationships are restored.

Speaker 3: 1:47:08

But I do want to mention another thing is the contrast. Steffi and I tried to do things our way and it was sinful, it was the flesh and it was disastrous. And the second time around, as the Lord had told me, we did things His way. Lord had told me we did things his way and we had complete accountability the entire time. Eventually I don't know if Steffi wants to mention our engagement, but when we do finally get engaged, but our courtship, we don't kiss till our wedding, up on stage for our wedding.

Speaker 3: 1:47:44

And it was pure, it was holy, the thought of, like you know, I can't ever have that much self-control. Clearly it was pure, it was holy, the thought of like I, you know, I can't ever have that much self-control. Clearly I couldn't do it before by not by my, not by power, but by the, by the power of God. Yes, yes, I can. Yes, you can, yes, anybody can.

Speaker 3: 1:48:02

And then one other little sweet thing to me is I was such fearful, such in a hurry, uh, that one of the people that I know I had to have offended, um, my well, my, anyway, my, my sister-in-law and my brother-in-law both my sister-in-law even before I got back to church, she was reaching out to me and I'll never forget that, you know, sending me messages like I'm wanting to meet up again, and then fast forward later when maybe it looked like I should be asking Steffi to marry me already. So I don't ask her until 2009, december 22nd 2009. But before that, my brother-in-law, george my brother-in-law, george, my brother-in-law he took me out to breakfast to give me the encouragement. I was like hey, what are you waiting for? And just to see man wow, the Lord has turned things around and you know, again maybe I'm getting ahead.

Speaker 2: 1:49:00

But I want to hear what Stephanie was thinking on December 22nd, but if you want to finish your talk.

Speaker 3: 1:49:06

No, I want to mention something about the wedding, but that's ahead, Stephanie.

Speaker 2: 1:49:11

So December 22nd interesting day.

Speaker 4: 1:49:14

It's actually Chad's birthday. No way, that's awesome. He may have given himself this gift. No, I'm kidding. I wanted to share this verse. In Philemon, verse 5, which is another marriage confirmation for Chad. It says, for perhaps he departed for a while for this purpose, that you might receive him forever. And that is obviously. Chad had departed for a while, and so that just blew me away and I was just falling in love with chad more and more each day as he, as I see his interact, interaction, um with tyler, as I see his interaction with my parents being um more healed, um just the love that was poured onto both of us after Chad started coming back to the church. And, yes, what a difference it was from people wanting to, were disappointed and wanting to strangle Chad and to this restoration turning point where people are wondering, like, when are you going to propose? So I mean, it kind of took a while, because this is, tyler was born in 2008, october 2008,. And he did not propose until a whole year and two months later, in December 2009.

Speaker 2: 1:50:46

Wanted to take your time, do it right.

Speaker 4: 1:50:47

So we finally were engaged. We got married five months later, in May May 1st 2010. It was a beautiful wedding. Tyler even walked our wedding carrying the little pillow, with the ring on it, even though he was crying. But just how the Lord turned things around for good, and where sin abounded, just grace abounded, so much more.

Speaker 2: 1:51:22

Amen. You know, I remember, I just remember being there. I was new to the church at the time and I just remember the spirit, just this joyful, just it was something I had never experienced before, this joyful, it was like a taste of heaven. You know, it was like a taste of heaven. You know, you think about it. Your story, the separation, the redemption, the marriage. I mean, isn't that our story with the Lord? You know, the separation, the redemption, redemption, the marriage. I mean, isn't that our story with the lord? You know the separation, the redemption and the marriage, and just an amazing picture of salvation and god's grace.

Speaker 2: 1:51:56

Um, guys, as we wrap up, I mean it's incredible, I mean again, so much that we could talk about and say, were you guys serving again at that point? Was it a whole other sort of process or journey to come back to serving the Lord, or did that kind of happen along with everything else in those couple years? What's kind of a brief update on that element of your lives, because, as you told us before, you're serving now. Update on that element of your lives Because, as you told us before, you're serving now you know again. So if you just tuned in, you know this redemption, this, you know, getting pregnant before marriage, this story, the heartbreak, emotions. Finally they get married and today they are leading and helping in the married couples ministry. I mean, man, if this is not a full circle story. So again, the question of, you know, serving the Lord. Again, just brief update on that how that kind of came to be that, that element.

Speaker 4: 1:52:56

I don't remember the timeline of when I started serving back in church again, but I remember being blown away when, I believe Chris asked me if I wanted to come back to leading worship. So just the fact that I'm just trying to live for the Lord and then he blesses my socks off with this awesome opportunity to be able to have that platform, to be able to lead God's people in worship, was a huge blessing to me.

Speaker 2: 1:53:33

That's amazing.

Speaker 3: 1:53:35

I think one thing for me and I had served in multiple ministries prior that there was some well before there was. Sometimes, am I serving for the Lord, am I serving for myself? Or, and when I was restored back to church, you know I didn't serve right away. It was such a beautiful time of just loving the Lord and and sometimes you don't have to be in a specific ministry and you find ways to serve and bless people. But then it kind of just happened, naturally of. I think I started out as doing the PowerPoint for the words of the worship, and you know I started that and then next thing, you know I was so it was on a computer by then.

Speaker 2: 1:54:18

You weren't doing the slides yes. What is it? The overhead projector?

Speaker 3: 1:54:21

Yeah it was on a computer by then. And then I also started in children's ministry. But I am a school teacher by trade and I didn't even start teaching, I was just kind of like the hall monitor. But it was just such a blessing to be back, to be serving. And the last thing I did want to say, again on the wedding, again, to see so many people there. You know, stephanie and I were talking about this, the number of people, you know not even to throw out a number, but it seemed like the whole church was there and I know not everybody was or whatever, but there was so many people there I was able to invite some non-Christians from work to be able to get up and proclaim the gospel at the reception. You know it was a full circle moment. It was such a blessing.

Speaker 3: 1:55:15

I haven't mentioned as much about my family because they were in Oregon. You know some of them were in Oregon, but my parents to be at the wedding, my brothers were all groomsmen and to you know, I know they had prayed, they had suffered, they had, they had, you know, been there at the darkest and for them to be able to participate in the, the huge blessing. It was just surreal and there were so many, I don't know. The Lord's hand was in. I just feel like everything I can. Different stories are coming to mind, but for sure.

Speaker 2: 1:55:49

Yeah, I mean, like we said, if you're listening, I mean there's so much to tell, so much to rejoice about and you know I like to say brag on God, right, so much to brag on God about. But, guys, we're going to wrap up here. I want to give you the opportunity, as in any closing statements or thoughts, I mean definitely shout out to your beautiful family. You know, we, we talked about the, the first kid, and now you got three wonderful children. And and how many years now married, I can't do the math yet in my say again 13, 13 years, married. Again, like I said, serving the lord. And again the position, the title is not the point, but being able to invest in marriages, marriages in this season of your life. So just a wonderful thing. Again, that's kind of like my summary.

Speaker 2: 1:56:33

But any closing thoughts, statements, I mean I wish you guys listening could see this couple. They came with notes, they're prepared, they've been prayerful, diligent. I mean the Bible verses they've read. These are bible verses that god has written on their hearts. Uh, so this is just me giving you guys a second to think, talking to the radio family, while I give my guests a moment to think for any closing thoughts or statements. Whoever would like to go first I guess I'll go first.

Speaker 3: 1:57:00

I'll give stephi a little more time, but there's two verses and then one final thought, but two huge takeaways through this experience. And one is Romans 7, verses 18, where Paul says for I know that in me, that is my flesh nothing good dwells. And I know, before this experience I didn't believe that verse. And I know, before this experience I didn't believe that verse. And we can be forgetful. Maybe there'll be times I still forget that verse. But I want to say I know that verse. There's nothing good in me.

Speaker 3: 1:57:39

And for some people that don't know the Lord that might sound discouraging, but that is an encouraging verse. When you realize there's no good in me, I bring nothing to the table, and that is a great place to be, because that's when, obviously, you look to the Lord. And then the other verse, Romans 8, 32,. He who did not spare his own son but delivered him up for us all, how shall he not, with him, also freely give us all things? The goodness of God.

Speaker 3: 1:58:14

Before this event there's no way I knew the goodness of God and I will say this you know, no matter how good some of us think the Lord is, he's better still. But my belief in the goodness of God has grown exponentially. And then the last thing my relationship with my wife and the three children that God has blessed us with. We're not at the finish line, obviously. The finish line is for me to hear, for my wife to hear, for our children to hear well done, good and faithful servant. And I know that to hear that to me it's almost going to be like an inside joke of again, it's not me, it's you, lord.

Speaker 3: 1:59:00

It is all you. It will be all you, but that is what we want to hear. We want to finish what he brought us together, not just to make amends. What I messed up. He brought us together for his purposes, to finish strong and so. I'm just so thankful. Everything, the Lord did has done and is going to do Awesome.

Speaker 4: 1:59:25

Psalm 119.71 says it is good for me that I have been afflicted, that I may learn your statutes, and, um, it's just what a beautiful story and testimony that Chad and I have. I mean, I don't know where I would be today if I had not had Tyler at that moment in my life. And I just want to reach out to the listener that if anybody is currently living in sin, if you're having sexual immorality before marriage, to repent and to seek accountability, um to reach out to um Christian, your Christian brothers and sisters, to help you, because anybody is susceptible to falling into the sin. Do not to ever believe that um you're safeguarded, because the enemy does want to kill and destroy and he's out there seeking and prowling like a lion and trying to ruin such a beautiful thing. And Ecclesiastes 3.11 says that the Lord makes everything beautiful in his time. And that was the Bible verse for our wedding and that's just my life verse also just to rely on the Lord, to not go ahead of the Lord and let him lead you.

Speaker 2: 2:01:05

Guys, thank you so much again just for taking the time, taking just the, for taking your time and for being willing to be so transparent. Again, I know that God's gonna use this. So, Chad, Steph, thank you so much. Thank you, Joey.

Speaker 4: 2:01:25

Thank you for having us.

Speaker 2: 2:01:27

Of course, if you've been listening and you want to catch up on the conversation if you're, if you're kicking yourself for missing out, it's okay we can provide you with the interview in its entirety, with the conversation. Again, when this airs, we may already have these online. We're working on some projects, but for any reason, you can contact us. We'll make it as convenient as possible for you. And maybe you have a question for Chad or Steph. Maybe you want to connect with them. We'll help with that as well. I'm sure they want to reach out, they want to pray, they want to minister. After all, right now they're in a season of ministering to married couples. That's where the Lord has them. So, guys, anything you need, 786-313-3115. That's the phone number here at God's Way Radio. You can text or call 786-313-3115. Grace and peace.

Speaker 1: 2:02:22

We hope you enjoyed Friends and Family, unique conversations recorded and produced in our studios, where you get a chance to hear what God is doing in people's lives. Jesus tells us in John 15, verse 15, I have called you friends For all things that I heard from my Father I have made known to you. So that's why we love to share these exclusive interviews with you. Our hope is that through their stories God will be made known to you, but you can only find them here on God's Way Radio. Just check godswayradiocom for our full program schedule.